Not Bad, Not Bad.

JBFKSNFJNKBVSOIEGNBJVFNDKGSKREJAFNGBF wrote a post about his first boy action thing. So I’m going to do the same thing.

It was January of 2005, if I remember properly, and it was during the mock Junior Certificate exams. A guy in my year, and I were sort of friends at the time. Himself and I came back to mine after one exam, as we usually did, just for tea and TV and the like.

One particular afternoon, I was horned up, and had heard that he was hung. So I began the ‘would you’ or the ‘I’d try that just to see’  conversation. I offered to blow him, and he agreed.

It was a brief affair. Brief, as in it didn’t last. But I remember thinking ‘This feels well good'. Well going to try this again, soon!’

I blew him on and off again for a year or two until it sort of fell apart/ But things have been looking up since.

So that’s it. I challenge some other blogger to write about theirs.

Observations

• Trench. Most people think of flooding or war. Not tree liked avenues. Stupid ESB (Electricity Supply Board) men have a trench going across the driveway. It’s about a foot wide, and I have to hop across it. Didn’t think that anyone lived in that big brick thing behind you, when you were digging up my driveway, no?

 

• I’m so self absorbed, I just dialled my own number from the landline, and wondered why my phone was ringing in my pocket….

 

• Mother dearest told my my hairline had gone back further. She then showed my pictures of my father in the 80s, and said I’d wind up like him. He went bald at 32. I wept slightly.

Work

Sam here….

 

So I’m working in an under construction café/bar. It’s part of the train station, so like it’s aimed at commuters, more than anything else.

I get up at 5AM, have a shower and get a lift at 5:45. I’m there by about 6:60, with Jenn, one of the society girls. Basically it’s like a huge high-ceilinged room in a train station. We’re only doing coffee and shite like that until we open. So we get a fistful of regulars, and close at 11AM. On go the old clothes and I’m up to my neck in Primer, Varnish and Masking tape. This goes on until like 2 or 3PM, and I get a lift home. Fun times indeed.

Provider of Clothes/money/broadband/running water and heat isn’t speaking to me. So I keep saying HELLO in a loud voice when I see her (but not shouting, if that makes sense). I’m not being rude, she is by not saying it back.

Tomorrow is my last day of work. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go scrub varnish off my arms and face.

BelFist!

Sam here….

 

I went to Belfast with 3 lesbians, weekend just gone. And what a weekend. So we hop on the bus Friday afternoon, and get up there at around 7ish. We check into the hostel. The hostel, right, was beside one of the most dangerous loyalist (pro-British) area’s in Belfast, so it was a bit intimidating. There was huge problems here in the 70s, but since both the loyalist (British) and nationalist (Irish) sides gave up weapons, I didn’t think that it went on any more. We head to the local booze shop and pick up vodka, beer and assorted beverages! Head back to the hostel, and we play a few drinking games. We head to a fast food place around the corner to get food before we head out and there’s this advertisement on the radio. It went like this

“My name’s Anna. I’m twenty, and I’m not afraid to say: I’m a virgin. It’s not that I’m frigid, aye,  I’m just not ready to give it away…”

I didn’t catch the end of it, I was in tears laughing, as were the other three. It was just so out of place. Over the weekend, we just kept repeating it, imitating the accent. It was so so funny.

So we head to Kremlin, the biggest gay bar in Ireland, apparently. I was fucking crushed though, one of the girls didn’t bring ID, so we couldn’t get in, even though she’s like 23. We were like Fuckit anyway. Headed to some random bar, while waiting for Mynt to open, and it was so weird. It was this tiny upstairs bar you had to bang on the fire escape to get into. That was alright, and at like midnight, we went to Mynt. It was a bit shite, the music was generic, but the people. Oh My God. The people in the north are so so friendly. People just start talking to you randomly, even if they don’t know you. I met some seriously nice people up there.

This guy was going around in an Emu costume for breast cancer awareness. For every photo of a dick or set of boobs, the charity got £100 ($138/€106). one of the girls and I kindly donated £200 between us.

We got out of the club at about 3:30, and got a taxi back to this fast food place. One portion of garlic cheese fries later, we went back ton the hostel, to discover the other 2 girls asleep. As good friends, we grabbed bottles and cans, and sat in the reception drinking. Headed to bed at 5:30AM, and got up at 6AM. The girls started drinking then, while myself and another girl went out and got breakfast, sunglasses and the like.

Saturday was spent drinking in the Hostel. On Saturday afternoon, someone had their iPod & Speakers out, and one line in some song was

“look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me”

So myself and Lou got into the lift, and when people got in, I’d turn to her and wail that line. People got so scared. We just stayed in the lift and did that a few times to a few different people.

By Saturday night, we all crashed and were asleep by 10PM. Got up at 6AM, and 2 girls were drinking again.

By the time we got thrown out at 11AM on a Sunday morning, 2 were drunk, Lou & I were not. So Lou and I got the bus home at 12, while the other 2 stayed in Belfast and waited for a bar to open.

Aaah. What a weekend.

 

I start work tomorrow. I’m working in a café, in a train station. My hours are like 6AM to about 1PM. I’ve got Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday. I’m looking forward to the money, but not the hours. I’ll leave you with this bitter old lemon:

You cannot send or receive a message from Dar because you’ve blocked this contact.

Sam said (Yesterday at 20:00):
i know nothing of horror
oh
i got a job
Dar said (Yesterday at 20:00):
the country is struggling to find jobs
thousands out of work
Dar said (Yesterday at 20:01):
but posh boy gets a job 

Pissy World, The World of Employment & The Dodgy Box

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Shitty Friday

Sam here….

So last night, everything was set. I was seeing Dar for a while, we were literally going for rebound sex. And then I was going out to a bar for a friends birthday and he was doing whatever.

So I meet him, and he tells me he ran into his ex in town. Both his exes know each other like before they both went out with him. So basically it emerges that both his ex’s were fucking like rabbits, and for some reason he got upset. So he couldn’t do it. I don’t get this at all. He’s a fucking blatent waste of my time. After all the times he cancelled on me, I still, for some reason have a vague amount of faith in him. I mean, I was nice to him, I just wanted to get the fuck away from him as fast as I could and put it behind me.

It then energed that they weren't even at it, they were just going out for a mutual friends leaving party. So he was fucking paranoid the whole time!!

Got the bus into town with him, and nether of us spoke a word to each other, I got off just said ‘Goodbye’ and walked off. Went to the door of Messers, a bar on the quays, and the bouncers wouldn’t let me in because I was “too drunk”, despite the fact that I haven’t been drinking in like a week, never mind that night. So I rang people inside, and apologised, no hassle.

I then wandered to the G, your neighbourhood gay bar, and didn’t get in there because they “didn’t know” my face. Which is total bullshit.

Nice one. Weekends are fucking over-rated anyway.

Oh, and the new windows live shit, like messenger, writer and mail are total arse. Can I get something that doesn’t crash when I sign in please? You know, it is sort of your job. You make Vista. You make Programs for Vista. How fucking hard is that computer man?

Darling, Your True Colours Are Showing

So when I was in school with a few guys. At the start of school, there was a group of 3 guys who didn’t know each other. AJ ,Jimbo & Ethan.

So over the years I, and a few others became friends with these guys, as we saw them on a daily basis. It carried on for 3 years for me. In the 3rd year of school Ethan stopped talking to me, and I wondered what I did to offend him. And he said he wasn’t mad at me, but continued to not talk to me. So I confronted him bluntly. His response to me was

“Sometimes you can be mean to people”

Needless to say. I laughed for hours. So Ethan aside, AJ Jimbo and I, along with others remained friends. Ethan had a chip on his shoulder, no skin off my nose.

But now, we’ve all split up to go to college and Ethan and everyone are still friends, on the surface. The ‘core’ 3 are still spending every waking hour together is a weird ‘another-inch-closer-and-we’re-a-gay-3some’ sort of way. But Ethan has cut everyone out. Like completely not talking to anyone outside the AJ or Jimbo.

One guy said to me that he was having a get together and that the 3 of them just didn’t call or text back about it, like at all, while everyone else showed up.

Another guy turned to me as we were walking to the bus stop from college:

“Have you heard from AJ at all”

I explained that he stopped talking to me 3 years ago because of basic human nature, and that quite frankly, I don’t give a shit.

I have dirt on all 3 of them. They would die if I exposed it. And the only reason I’m not is that friends of friends read this blog. And I’m not having their dirty laundry hung out online.

Yet.

In The Blink Of An Eye

Sam here....

 

Someone pointed this site out to me earlier. You can alter your face, to see what you look like as a woman/man/young/old etc.

Here's the link!

Young:

Old:

Creepy, right?

Nothing Escapes Him; He Escapes Us All

Sam here....

The opening line is from Derek Mahon. Read here & breakdown here.

So. My genius prevails once again. I'm grinning like a naughty schoolboy here. I have it all. Sex. Exams. Keys.

Today, I strolled into college, say my exams, and got the bus to the 'burbs. I called into a friend from Ventures and grabbed the keys to the building from him. It's a mulit-million euro state of the art building, built last year especially for us. I told him I was getting a coat I left there on Wednesday.

Straight to the hardware, got a copy cut and put on my keys. Returned his. And rang David. Davis is the sexy football one. Like a babys arm holding an apple. I bottomed for him. I kind of like it these days. It's an aquired taste. Like Chardonnay&7up kind of.

He jumps in a taxi. I now have somewhere to go.I get the monthly programs posted out to me, so I know when the building is in use. It's perfect. Apart from the whole 'Illegal entry, sodomy, abuse of trust' issue.

4 stitches. A guy in college told everyone I was bottled in the face, and it makes me sound cool. So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

I'm quite happy with how they look actually. Their coming out on Wednesday morning!

Photoshop? Me? Never!

Pain In My Face

Sam here....

 

So I have a few bits and pieces on news for you all. My exams are in like 3 days, and I've spent like all my time on youtube, blogger, bebo & xtube. Just pissing my time away!

I got the teeny tiny mole above my eyebrow removed today too. You want pictures, doncha? Thought so! I went into the Hospital at two, had all my forms and shit done by half two. What time did I get it done at? A quarter to five. as in 4:45. Bear in mind that I had private healthcare, and I was still waiting for 3 hours. Anyway, it's gone, but I have to get my stitches out next Wednesday, so that should be fun...

It's above my left eyebrow, by the way kids!

 

Oh yeah, there's strange goings on in my house. All the upstairs lights,sockets, and the two showers have stopped working. Like completely. I flipped the breakers back up, and they just go straight back down, so I'm going to leave it. My dad usually fixes the shit when it stops working, but he's in Andorra until next week, so it's darkness all round!

I...em....I had a date with Dar tonight. And it was lovely. As your mammy would say. Lovely. We went to the cinema, to see Sex Drive. A fitting movie. We had a few cans of cider, a kiss. Afterwards we went for a walk down by the river, had a bit of a moment. A quick drop of the hand. You know yourself. Anyway, he said that he didn't want to use me, and that he wasn't going to be selfish, because he doesn't want to lose me as a friend. Which is a nice thing to hear, although I'm still skeptical. We went for food (he paid) and went our separate ways.

I'm not going to dwell on this, but can y'all go give JBGBC some love. He's going for a cancer appointment tomorrow, and I'd imagine he could use a distraction or two?

Also, can you comment Jack and tell him he's old. The words 'You are old' will suffice.

Other news...other news...oh. oh. OH. Today, during the 3 hours wait, some time after my phone and iPod both died, my mother told me to never sleep with men, it was a lesson having to go for HIV tests and masturbation is better than sleeping with people. She thinks every gay man is a killer. If that was the case I'd have a phonebook full of killers.

I sort of want to try LSD. Curiosity is getting the better of me. Tell me your not tempted, after reading this -

On April 25, 1943, Dr. Albert Hofmann intentionally ingested 250 µg of LSD. After ingesting the substance Hofmann found himself struggling to speak intelligibly and asked his laboratory assistant, who knew of the self-experiment, to escort him home on his bicycle. On the bicycle ride home, Hofmann's condition became more severe and in his journal he stated that everything in his field of vision wavered and was distorted, as if seen in a curved mirror. Hofmann also stated that while riding on the bicycle, he had the sensation of being stationary, unable to move from where he was, despite the fact that he was moving very rapidly.

The attending doctor could find no abnormal physical symptoms other than extremely dilated pupils. After spending several hours terrified that his body had been possessed by a demon, that his next door neighbour was a witch, and that his furniture was threatening him, Dr. Hofmann feared he had become completely insane. Hofmann mentions seeing "fantastic images" surging past him, alternating and opening and closing themselves into circles and spirals and finally exploding into coloured fountains and then rearranging themselves in a constant flux. Hofmann mentions that during the condition every acoustic perception, such as the sound of a passing automobile, was transformed into optical perceptions. Eventually Hofmann slept and upon awakening the next morning felt refreshed and clearheaded, though somewhat physically tired. He also stated that he had a sensation of well being and renewed life and that his breakfast tasted unusually delicious. Upon walking in his garden he remarked that all of his senses were "vibrating in a condition of highest sensitivity, which then persisted for the entire day"

Awesome. I'm going to leave you on that bombshell.

15%

Sam here....

My parents both work for the Irish Government. And today it was said that their is an extremely high possibility that they will have wage cuts. Between the 2 of them, it amounts to 15% of the household income.

And we were discussing it with them in a 'sit down' talk. Myself and Simon, the sibling, will have to get jobs if we want to stay in college. The heating is being reduced. CFL energy saving bulbs everywhere.

Damn, now I'm looking for a part time job.

This is shit. I blame the government entirely. They lost 8 billion euro.

How the fuck do you lose 8 billion? If I find it, I'm keeping it.

Bastards. 

Sometimes CTRL+Z* Doesn't Work

Sam here....

 

So I'm pretty happy these days, that has been established, but there's a lingering sadness I've cut out, but don't want to forget. This post is more for my sanity, and a way that I can think about the situation and look back upon it, and remember how I felt.

Simon is my brother. Yes, my parents made brutal choices with naming their two sons Sam & Simon, but there you go. Simon is 21 (22?) and an alcoholic.

It's funny, I found an old phone in the house a little while ago, and while flicking through, I came across a calendar note, dated 22th February 2003.

"First time drinking :-)"

This is where it snowballed from. Simon has never been socially comfortable, nor has he been able to feign confidence like most of us. Because not everybody is truly confident. It's a front to stop us getting ripped to shreds by other people, looking to humiliate someone weaker, so nobody notices their imperfections.

So brother realises that the world is rosy when he's had a few too many lagers, and that life happens to be brilliant, because he's confident, 'the lads' think he is some sort of idol, who can drink the most.

The lads. This irritates me to no end. It's such a testosterone filled, men's world, chain the woman to the cooker' idea. The lads.

Simon has brains. Don't get me wrong. He doubled my scores in the leaving cert, he was doing biochemistry and micro science, both promising fields. Until he realised that he could skip college during the day, drink all night and skip college the next day. He failed, dropped out, and began working in a betting shop. And did so for a year.

Spending every ill-earned penny on drink. He had no savings, no education. Nothing. But did he care? No. He just drank.

My parents. I begin to feel bad for the ol' strumpet. Both my mothers parents were alcoholics, her brother is a recovering alcoholic. And now her oldest son. She cried, pleaded, demanded, begged him to curb his drinking. But he couldn't stop.

Oh, he wasn't the one with the problem. Oh no. It wasn't his fault.

Something had to give.

Last new years day, my parents collected him from a *Garda station. He had been drinking in his shameless local pub, and collapsed. He owed everyone money. He was sick. Poor. Broken. All his friends didn't help him, an onlooker called an ambulance and the police.

He arrived home, and broke down. I was sent upstairs at this point because it was a closed doors conversation, but I know he confessed to being an alcoholic. And this was the start. The start of resuming the happy family life.

A councillor was employed, to help him control his addiction. There were minor slip-ups, but aside from that, it looked as if things would be OK.

This new years. He arrived him from work on new years eve, with a box of Stella (an icky larger/beer). The parents were away.

He had been sober for 6 months. 6 months. 24 weekends had passed, where he didn't go out, get blind drunk and ring me at 5AM, hurling abuse at me for not getting up to answer the door. He didn't dare ring the bell in case a parent got up to answer.

And now. He arrives home, 2 days later with another box. another 24 bottles. And I know he will drink all of them.

I just needed to write that down for myself.

 

 

 

 

*For those that don't get the title, CTRL+Z is the 'undo' function for Windows.

**Garda. From Garda Siochana, the Irish police. It translates to 'Peaceful Guards'. Their unarmed.

Happy Goodbye

Sam here....

I'm the happiest I've been in weeks. And I don't know why!

 

This Alan business needs to be addressed. Like seriously. I'm so over him, it's not even funny!

Basically, I offered a relationship, on a plate to him, and he said it was too soon. So I accepted that, because after I said it, I thought so too. So that was grand. I invited him to Pantibar last Monday, but he went out on the Sunday night, in full knowledge that I wanted him to come out the next day. And drank all his money away. So he chose that. Which was fair enough.

I'm being too fucking nice. I'm not this nice. He's evidently taking me for granted, every time he gets bored. He has a weird cock. and he's super arrogant. I changed my status back to single.

I'm just. Alan annoys me in ways I overlooked until they were glaringly obvious. So now I have to tell him to go away. But I am going to be nice about it. One last time.

365

One cringeworthy year ago, I started this blog. Read my first entry here. So one year on, I may be older and wiser, but I'm also happier.

 

So this is a good thing. I've kept this post short and sweet, and I  hope 2009 follows suite.

Have a great 2009 guys!