He’s going into a rehabilitation centre for four weeks. It’s a live-in, 24 hours a day situation. Of course this is a great thing, his alcoholism has plagued this family for the last 6 years.
At the same time, he has this self righteous attitude that he’s doing this grand gesture, so his shit no longer stinks. And to a certain degree my parents are heaping praise upon him.
I’m more sceptical. He’s had these “I’m going to stop drinking” moments before, then he’s turned around, hit the bottle, and broke my mothers heart all over again. Every time my parents go away, he drinks himself into an oblivion, I’m forced to clean up his mess, and lie to cover for him.
I’m still mildly resentful of him though. Does he want me to turn over and congratulate him? Because it’s not going to happen, he’s going to have to earn my respect. And I know what he’s going through, and I know alcoholism is an awful affliction, but I seemingly can’t muster up the sympathy.
And part of me feels like a horrible person for being unable to do so. And the other part of me is furious with him.
Comments? Words of wisdom?
5 comments:
i loved the experience; I had never felt so pampered, so indulged. It wasn't about support, it was all about making you feel better. Like a spa - but no defences or attacks really offered to help at home. But go figure - success means lass business for them, so why go for it?
ahoj
My nasty snarky thought - fuck him
I have no time for those who look to buck the process of rehab. It makes a mockery of a system that assist millions of genuine individuals around the world.
Do what is right for you - he doesn't deserve your support until he has been sober and remained sober and proved himself to you and his mother.
I'm sorry this guy is putting yoru family through so much shit because of his addiction.
My only advice is to stop enabling him. If he is a mess when parents come home, he needs to reap the consequences. Otherwise it masks the whole thing for everyone.
Good luck. It's not an easy gig.
What do you think is the cause of his addiction? Does he know?
Sam,
If your brother is going to Rehab because he feels pressured by your parents then it is safe to say it will not work.
It will only work when he wants to do it. You are well within your rights to lack sympathy, his addiction does not only put his life on hold but everyone that loves him to an extent.
Save judgement though until he relapes or completes the rehab with sucess.
Damien - thats a very small minded view to have. Addiction is not about bucking the system and I doubt it his intention to make a mockery of the rehab system.
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