Drive My Car by The Beatles

Hey Gays!

 

So, It’s finally summer here. Like it’s warm, no more of this take-a-coat-before-your-nipples-fall-off bullshit. And I’m loving it!

I’m thinking of changing my college course. I’m doing a maintenance and services engineering course at the moment, but an finding it wholly unsatisfying. Like an unscratchable itch, almost.

I want to work with people, like in the hospitality industry.

So that’s exactly what I’m doing now. I’m applying for a clatter of courses online, I have an interview next Monday already and just in general, I’m pursuing my future.

 

She’s this older woman (55-60) who is on my bus every morning without fail. And then she proceeds to scowl, and nudge and cough until she gets a seat. The callous old hag!

Hey lady, if your well enough to work, you can stand. Not my fault your living in the ghetto, and I’m up in suburbia, righ’?

But this morning, she teeters onto the bus. And it accelerated, throwing her balance all over the shop. But then the bus driver STOMPS on the brakes, throwing everything forward suddenly. But she was still pushing towards the back of the bus, So she went FLYING on her HOOP! It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. While all these frumpy business women helped her up, I was crippled with laughter. Like there was actual tears coming out my eyes.

And I was FUCKING REMORSELESS. It was a beautiful moment. Truly. I was ever chuckling to myself as I arrived to my first lecture. So la la la.

And then! We were sitting in McDonalds for lunch, and witnessed the greatest domestic EVER! These two junkies were a few tables over, and were obviously out of it on whatever your having yourself, thank you very much. But she was roaring at him. Firstly, she accused him of stealing her drugs. Which provided everyone with a nervous chuckle. Then, he grabbed her arm as she went to hit him, and she started calling him a “Burd Bash’r”, or bird basher, for those of you who don’t speak working class Dublin. They then both stood up in each others faces, missing teeth, unibrows, ponytails and pink tracksuits everywhere, right, and their screaming the place down. I should have recorded, in retrospect.

While this was going on, we witnessed a slaughter of McChicken sandwiches, like you’ve never seen. This couple, with their baby, sat next to us. And there was 5 McChicken Sandwiches and a thing of twisty fries. So yer man takes the twisty fries, and the girl (who was no ballerina) takes the 5 McChicken Sandwiches. And proceeds to devour them like a Fritzl! I was actually staring. Open mouth’d.

She was booting through them like mayonnaise induced weight-loss!