Sam. I. Am.: I Take Too Many Photos of Shite & Pure White Evil Is Coming To Get Me. How’s That For A Title?

Sam here….

So I’ve a bit of a photo lesson for you kids today:

To the two clowns above: It’s a fucking recession. While I’m walking along, flicking through my downloaded music on my new Sony Walkman NWZ-S639F, which I bought yesterday and am LOVING, I don’t want to hear whatever shite your pumping out on that accordion. And if you happen to penetrate my headphones or block my path, don’t be insulted when I say “do you take laser?, I don’t carry cash.” Suddenly I’m the bad guy. Well enough I say. Which links nicely to my next point.

“Pure White Evil”, known to most of you as snow is after me, and the rest of Europe, it seems. Woke up this morning and thought ‘ooh, snow. Cool, and sort of novel’. Stepped outside and was loving the crisp whiteness. And then I slipped, and almost fell flat on my face. And now I’m tempted to go around with a blowtorch belt, torching the ground around me as I walk.

Also, the kids from the slums seem to take great pleasure lobbing snowballs at busses. The little shites. Bring back capital punishment, I say.

Bah Humbug!

On Saturday, I had about 20 close friends over for drinks and the like, because my parents were away. So At the end of the night, I piled everything into a black sack and gave it to someone to dispose of it.

I was heading out yesterday,a rang him asking where he’d dumped the bag, because it wasn’t in sight. He told me to glance down a local lane.