Ok, I was drunk and stole a 'for sale' sign.
Now how the fuck do I get rid of it?
It won't burn, and it's shockingly difficult to cut because it's been laminated so many times and it's made of plastic. It won't fit in any bin that the city council collects.
So, what do I do now?
Comments on this post are mandatory. (Y)
3 comments:
Call the number on the sign and tell them you found it thrown on your lawn. Ask them to come pick it up.
If you know someone who owns something that is described on sign, and can appreciate a joke, do the following.
Write a letter addressed to them, stating their house has been sold per October 1st, because
- their mortgage loaner (bank?) thinks the value has dropped so much that it worth less than the mortgage about. [If you know their mortager]
- due to a European law that is effective since April 1st 2008, properties can be bought by the local government and sold to people that own a business in the city [or make something else up]. Make up a serial number for the law (a bit or research would help to make it sound more reliable).
Make up a phone number and a fax number that don't exist and put them in the letter. Add that those numbers can only be called on office hours (make them up too)
. State that outside office hours they can reach their appointed portofolio manager [or make up some fuzzy job title] and give you cell phone number. Use an anagram of your name for this guy's name (http://www.ssynth.co.uk/~gay/anagram.html)
Try to reassure them in the letter that the current value of the property, as determined by an independent agency, will be transferred to their account on the October, 1st.
Do this together with someone else, so you can share the fun. Put the letter in their mailbox on in the night from friday to saturday and also put the sign up. Sit and wait.
Think of a funny thing to do when they call, and don't let the joke escalate...
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Or just follow the more wise advice of the first commenter.
Do what we did in Catholic school - cut it into bite size pieces and swallow one every day. All your problems will be behind you. High in fiber, low in carbs.
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