Sam here....
It's Saturday morning as I type this. Last night just as I was going to bed, the 'parent' told me to sit down. I thought someone was sick or something had happened my dad(he's away on a road trip with my brother).
My cousin is gay. He just came out, and that's what she has to tell me. I felt myself go crimson, but at the same time I was kind of defensive. I said 'Yeah, that's no big deal'. She knows I'm bi at least, she has to know that I'm gay. She said my Aunt and Uncle were devastated, and he's told the whole village and is dressing provocatively. I think it means he's a bit camp. 'Parent' made it sound like the world had ended and that annoyed me, but also made me think about how I'm going to tell them that I exclusively like dick. This is going to be a tough one. Write them a letter maybe?
Anyway I rang Dar afterwards and he basically told me why they were being weird about it. If my cousin came out and then turned into a mascara monster, then their worried that when I came out the them that I'll be like that. I suppose they are the last to know. all my friends know, my year knows, it's not like I'm hiding it from them like a secret shame. I mean I don't want to tell them because they'll get stressed about it and maybe a little bit angry. I feel like of trapped to tell you the truth.
Dar was actually amazing last night. He just gave me loads of good advice and calmed me down. He's a good friend.
7 comments:
Why do you think you need to tell them that you don't like girls? They will find out soon enough that you are having more boyfriends than girlfriends. They will not be surprised by the fact that you will have boyfriends, because they already know that you like guys. If they ask why you never have girlfriends, you can honesty say that you prefer guys over girls.
I don't think you live a lie. I wouldn't worry too much about it if I were you. The most difficult part was telling them you like guys. If they think it's just a phase, then that's their problem, not yours.
Ok, I accept your point. But in my family there's not really an air of acceptance. There's always an undercurrent of homophobia, about what I wear, where I'm going. I don't want then to know because they'll judge, and it won't be nice. I have to 'bottle myself up', for want of a better phrase, in the house. I'm different, more comfortable whith who I am when I'm out with people who actually know me. If I brought a boyfriend home, my mother would whip out the holy water.
I've decided to write them a letter on the 29th of June. I'm going to tell them.
Feeling the way you describe, I think that indeed you need to come out as 100% gay. If you need ideas for your letter, just let me know: we could take this offline. I have your email address and will send you an email before the 29th.
The holy water won't work. You'll both still be fags. Always have been; always will be. And that's fine.
I am really curious about the drafts of the letter which must be goinig through your head. I hope you do a lot of drafts, and, even more, I hope you write and deliver the letter.
Nothing that really matters will change, but, I suspect, you'll feel a lot cleaner.
Rick
Jack, I AM GAY. I know I'm gay, 100%. I just need to tell them that! And I'm awaiting your mail!
Rick, I've decided that I'm not going to start drafting letters until after my exams. I've got a few mental notes scratched on a scrap of paper but not a draft.
What I meant was, that you came out as 30-70% gay, i.e. bisexual, and that after reading your arguments, I agree that you have to set that right.
I'm not just setting it right. This will be the start of being completely out I suppose?
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